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When you praise the lord, but know you heading to hell soon for all the sh*t you've done.
When her Tinder profile says horses turn her on...
It's an old picture of him, when someone stole his noms..
When you trying to spot that fine bitch across the way
When you're just trying to look busy so the wife doesn't give you more sh*t to do
When you got a poop while at the grocery store, but you still need groceries.
When you're owner says he's better at the doggie paddle than you are...
The moment you realize she's just using you for free stuff at the carnival.
When you keeping the people safe at 5PM but heading to burning man at 8Pm