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Sir, did you know the back of your truck was opened up like a sardine can?
Ma'am, do you know I'm a dog and don't understand what you're saying?
You're not fooling me, Ellen!
When you're the only one in the car club who can't afford a kit
When life gives you flip-flops and sneakers, rocket that sh*t like you meant it.
When a girl tells you you're looking like you work out and you start getting a big head
Fitting in, you're doing it wrong.
When you come to the sudden realization you're not living up to your full potential
When you're watching a show about fat humans and suddenly realize your fat too
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