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Kitty is Pissed. Kitty will Piss on your Shoes Tonight and Vomit in your sock drawer.
In Mother Russia, you walk your alcohol.
When you win the lottery but still like your trailer too much to leave.
If I claim to be a Unicorn, does that mean everyone MUST call me that? Same difference.
Grandma just wants you to enjoy your f*cking Gluten Free Birthday Cake
It was all fun and games until somebody drifted off the road and killed all family. Or Sasquatch came out and stole your beef jerky.
That's one way to raise your self-esteem
Welcome to Eastern Europe, we'll be your guide!
Girls with Big Boobs can relate. Guys can just watch. Pick your jaw up, fellas.