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Welcome to college, we'll be your daughter's guide
When you're just trying to look busy so the wife doesn't give you more sh*t to do
When you got a poop while at the grocery store, but you still need groceries.
Seems to be about right
Then it just sits there fermenting a plan with the rest of the accidentally discarded toothpaste to clog your drain
Every time I shave
Thou shalt judge
When you're owner says he's better at the doggie paddle than you are...
Apparently that's all it takes to get hired as a bus driver