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Give me 20 pounds of birdseed.
When the grandfather clock sees what time you came home and gives you sass
This can only go one of two ways. I'm dead, or sh*t's getting freaky tonight. The cat will watch, like usual. Creepily.
I want to give you a bear hug so badly right now...
The doctor said I can only have one beer a day.
When you're the only girl in the class and you need help
"Give me the 'I love Froot Loops and offense '" ; "say no more"
Only the brave dare enter...
When you're just trying to look busy so the wife doesn't give you more sh*t to do