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When you realize your barbers not as good as they claim to be.
When she finds a plastic surgeon on Craigslist.
If your tires looks like an old man's balls... Well, it's time for a tire change
When rappers start liking hummus
When they're fed up with heroin addicts knocking on their door at 12 AM
When doing computer tech support and you're waiting for that old lady to finally get what you are talking about.
When your going to make damn sure Bill doesn't beat you to the fishing spot again
When you're riding your bike through a bad neighborhood.
Now that's when you know you have a great mattress